A Lapdance....oh...I mean Laptop ;)

Well what do you know....I´m with Laptop.

What can I say...me and my wife are both frequent net users...so one computer aint enough. So we kind of got one yesterday.

It was´nt intensional actually though we have talked about getting a laptop sometime. We were out on a stroll with the kids...and came home with a computer....how wierd ;)

Ah well....now we got one...so both of us can be online at the same time....very very cool :)

It works like a charm....Windows Vista Home Premium looks great....and the hardware rocks.

Oh...Mr. Beaver just called on me over MSN....he might have something to say about this....hehehe...

Carry on...........

My poor finger!!!!

Well....here it is...one and a half week of recovery from that stabbing contest. I know Mr. Beaver wanted to see a pic of it so voila ;)

It´s still pretty sore...but I try to stay away from band-aids and stuff...it heals better without it. But I will have to cover it up when I work tomorrow...don´t want to get the wound all dirty...infections can be nasty.

Ah well...this will not be a long one...just wanted to flaunt my beautiful finger.

Carry on.....

How to kick ass in BF2!!!

Ok...first thing first....2 blogs in 1 day???!!! Have I completely lost my mind??? How unusual...but exciting...what now??? A boring collection of letters about the PC game Battlefield 2???
Nope....but I do want to ventilate some issues regarding the gameplay in previous mentioned PC game.

There is quite a bunch out there who plays BF2...there´s about 1000 ranked servers out there to choose from...though games like COD4 have stolen a few players and the game is getting old...not really, but in the world of computers a 3 year old game is definently getting old.

Now...I have just about 300 hours of game time so far, so I know a thing or two.

This is how to win when playing infantry...keep that in mind...INFANTRY.......

Form a squad....it don´t matter how good you are, loners will be killed over and over again.
Lets say you are 5 players in the squad, 3 should be medics, 1 support and 1 sniper. The support will provide ammo and should ALWAYS be the first one in when taking a flag....why??? If there is claymores there the medics can revive him.

Support and sniper and 1 medic, ONE only, should take the flag. The other 2 medics should stay away from the flag radius....if it will start raining grenades it would be good if not the entire squad gets wiped out. Take cover and keep an eye on the surroundings...3 guys turns a flag quick enough.

The sniper can place clays for the enemy to step on...preferebly around flags (some servers don´t allowe that though....TE server do) and he can pick off those annoying enemy snipers...and ofcourse kill or atleast hurt enemies from a long distance.

Medics shall revive revive revive....damn I hate those fecking slow morons playing medic. There you are all dead yelling 'MEDIC'...and the idiot medic runs away or stands beside you looking for those shockpaddles....or shocks the ground beside you....hate it. REVIVE INSTANTLY....if there are 3 medics in the same squad that is possible. All other squad members should attack the enemy providing cover for the medic doing the reviving.

Now...that is the basics...now for the general fighting tactics........

I am NOT the best player out there...but I do get good KDR´s all the time (Kill Death Ratio). I can kick some serious butt with my support gun....just because I don´t run head on. Nope...I see too many good players thinking they are all that, running head on trying to kill everything.
I flank my enemies if I can, and I never attack for the same spot twice. If I get killed and my squad along with it I attack from a different angle next try....most players think that you will come the same way you did last time.
And always use the enviroment to your advantage. Don´t stand in the wide open in a fire fight...make yourself a hard target.

ALWAYS spawn on your squad leader and ALWAYS stick together....I also hate squad members that runs off to the other side of the map....BAH....morons. But by sticking together I do NOT mean so close that 1 lousy nade will take out the entire squad...stick together means work together and look out for eachother.

Another thing that many many many, too many good players fall into is the I-am-so-god-damn-stubborn-I-just-have-to-take-that-particular-flag....I mean wtf??!!! If you run into heavy resistance, outnumbered as hell, GO AROUND THEM, ATTACK ANOTHER FLAG!!!!!!
God dammit...make the opposite team open up a bit. Force them to run off here and there and voila...suddenly the former Fort Knox flag will be easier to take.

I can sometimes flank a well guarded flag, do a quick attack with everything you got, when they know what´s happening run off....don´t stand your ground, 3-5 guys will come running. Make em chase you then kill em....or they will loose interest but the important thing is that they will leave the flag they are defending. Maybe just for a minute...but that might be enough for your teammates to do some heavy damage.

And firing....do NOT use full auto in a mid to long distance fire fight. Not even the most accurate gun will hit very good on full auto. I almost always use the heaviest of machineguns...the PKM. Very very powerful...100 bullets per mag and insane damage. But people say it´s too damn in-accurate...I say hell no!!!! On the contrary, it´s not bad at all...short bursts or single shots rapidly...that´s the way to do it. This way the recoil will be easy to controle. I can win fire fights against any G36E user on any distance...not always ofcourse...but I don´t feel that I have an disadvantage...it´s all about timing.

The medics usually play with the G36E, full auto is not even an option, so no problem there. But the no-full-auto-firing goes for every gun in the game.

Do as I say and you will do good.

Some will agree, some won´t...all I can say is that I play like this and I do good.

Carry on........

Well.......

...is´nt it wonderful this thing called 'Irony'??

Me on the cover of a magazine called 'Sexy'??? Yeah right...if the magazine was called 'Roadkill' or 'UglyBastard' I would get it....but this????

I got no problem flauntning my lack of good looks though, I don´t think anyone would use this ugly mug on any questionable site for any sort of product or service....this face on a Viagra add??

Thank god my kids got their looks from their mother...no wonder they are soooooo damn cute ;)

Atleast my finger is getting better. I will definently think twice before I try to stab myself with a chisel again...not the best of ideas.

I´m on my way the the church actually...attending a baptism...I just hope that God don´t strike me with thunder and lightnings again...I have been a nice boy ;)

...irony.....

NEW HEADER!!!

Well...I was bored with the last one.

I´m not totally pleased with this one either...it´s ok though...it will do for time beeing ;)

What´s new then...well, I have explored the noble art of self stabbing actually. 'Huh' might be your first thought reading this...I will explain.......

Yes, I am an carpenter. I build furnitures, windows, doors...you name it and i will build it, that´s my job.
As all carpenters (this is an presumtion though...I have NOT met them all) I use dangerous tools on daily basis. All kinds of machines and hand held tools...like chisels...wich is the tool I am going to talk about...and for you who never seen a chisel before I say - see picture above ;)

That looks quite similar as the chisel I used during my stabbing contest...with myself.

Now...I was working on a beautiful bathroom cabinet...all in oak...recessed spotlights and all...man I am good...oh...sorry about that....anyhow, in the back I used an milling machine to make room for the backpiece. But those things make round corners so you have to use the chisel to cut them straight.
Trust me...I have done this particular procedure like a zillion times already, so no news to me. BUT...oak is hard...so you gotta put a little muscle into it...and so I did. I was nearly finished when it all went sour...for me that is...the oak was thin where I both had made room for the back piece and the cable to one of the spotlights...so it cracked...and I slipped...and drove the chisel right smack into to my left hand fingers...ouchie.

And I keep my chisels sharp m8´s...always.

I first hit my index finger (small cut, almost nothing), then the middle finger (pretty good cut...I am very proud), and finally the ring finger...now that finger took the serious beating...or stabbing if you prefer.
I cut myself through the nail...a bit on the side too...quite deep actually...split my nail in half...cut straight through...down deep into the finger below...and MAAAAAN did that hurt...gees. And MAAAAAAN did I bleed...omfg...but I made sure I did´nt bleed all over the cabinet...blood stains is very hard to remove...and this cabinet will not be cheap.

Thankfully my boss was there...he fixed me up with a compression bandage. 12 hours after this accident I was still bleeding though...and I could not sleep due to the pain. As a matter of fact I could´nt sleep for two nights.

So on friday I called the hospital (yes I worked thursday and friday)...my workmate Mr. Beaver and ofcourse my dear wife thought I was a total knucklehead who did´nt go there in the first place.

But on friday I have had enough...thank god for good doctors. They cleaned the wound, said it was a nasty cut (no shit) and came to the astonishing conclusion that it probably was painful...errm...ya...they also put on some new comfy bandages and gave me a tetanus shot.

It´s all good...I got a new injury to put on my very impressive list and I can work...not on full speed though...too big bandage and too sore.

I will soon take it off...not the finger...the bandage...band-aid will do soon enough.

Finally a word of advice from someone who knows -

If you are about to play with a chisel, make god damn sure you know wich end is the dangerous one...ok?

Ok.