Saturday, 26 May 2007

DIE STOOPID BUSH...DIEEEE!!!

Ok...before you call the cops on me...this is NOT about the President of the USA...ok, got that? Good...it´s about a REAL bush...in my garden...or 2 actually...same sort and size.

Now...these bushes apparently needed to be put to sleep...or removed if you prefer. Anyhow...said and done...I started to dig...holy crappaloni...the roots were as thick as the Golden Gate wires...gees. The damn bush would´nt give in easily I tell you that...not without a fight anyway.
After a while I gave up the digging style...brute force was the way to go I thought. After some intence beating with the shovel and zero result it was time for no mercy...take no prisoners just blast em suckers.
A crow bar was the tool for me...and man did I swing it. I was giving that freaking bush the beating of his life mark my words. I guess my neighbours think I´m insane or something...ah well...nothing new :)

My wife tried to beat it too...her hands is hurting now...poor girl. My elbow (old boxing injury) is hurting too...poor me.
But the important thing is...we beat it...WE WON...moahahaha...looser bush. But man that bush was a tough bastard. A nuke would have been easier...one of those and ALL bushes are history...house too...darn.

My wife even mumbled about explosives when she tried to hack those roots off...hehe, that would have been a sight...

- HEY...what are you doing with that dynamite???
- Oh...hello neighbour...well, we are trying to remove some bushes.
- Huh...with explosives?
- Yup...FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!

Would have been quicker I suppose...and cool too ;)

The worst part is...there is still one of those monsters out there...yup, we had 3...now only 1...and he´s bigger...I can swear he growled at me...I am afraid now...help me...someone...

That dynamite idea is somehow a pleasant solution come to think of it...

Nah...don´t you worry...relax, I´m not going to blow some bushes sky high...that remaining one will survive this summer...but next summer he is toast :)

Until the next time...buy me a book "How to kick the shit out of your bushes"...thanks.

Thursday, 24 May 2007

Give it to me baby ;)

Lets say you got a pile of cash lying around...here´s a tip...see that car, buy it and send it to me. I promise I will be happy...I´ll even throw in a greetings card...nothing expensive though...just a card :)

Corvette Stingray...not sure of the year of making though...somewhere around 64-68...but damn it looks cool...blue and all.

I took this picture last summer...we have 2 special cruising days here. Lovely cars from all of Sweden gather here to show off...their owners too ofcourse...doh.

Speaking of cars...I drive a Ford Mondeo...oops...hang on...my wife drives that one...I drive a bucket called Volvo...it´s old, sluggish and makes wierd noices when it feels like it. The gas meter has lost interest in functioning...but hey, I like my Volvo.
I can park anywhere without worrying about dents and it does´nt matter if it gets dirty. I use it in my line of work...it is no car to go cruising with...if I did I am afraid it would render laughs and serious mockery...I don´t want to put my dear Volvo through that....he is sensitive.

Did´nt you know....cars are people too...don´t say you missed 'Cars'??? Disney Pixars Cars??? Awesome movie...seen it probably 10 times by now. Me and my kids loves it :)
There is the proof...cars are people...so I try to be gentle with my Volvo...I don´t wanna be ran over one day due to poor handling. I can see the headlines - Father of 2 got his ass kicked by a Volvo...man...a Ferrari yes...even a Jaguar...but a Volvo...embarrassing.

Ah well...I am rambling...like always....

Until the next time...GET ME THAT CORVETTE!!!!

Tuesday, 22 May 2007

Music - Candy for ones eares :)

Oooh...I love that guitar...my Les Paul Studio (Vintage Sunburn). I used to have one more Les Paul, a black one...but I sold it.
Actually...I´ve had plenty of guitars...tried most of them...but this one...it rocks :)

So yup...I play guitar...I used to be in a band. We played music from the 60s and 70s...Thin Lizzy, Beatles, Rolling Stones, The Doors, Box Tops, Los Bravos, David Bowie, Dusty Springfield, Hollies and many more. We called ourselves 'The Generators'...we thought that sounded like a band name from back then ;)

We did some gigs here and there...no BIG ass gigs...biggest crowd about 450-500 me finks...but darn it was fun...mostly. Playing at small places without a proper stage can be...absolutely life threatening...hahaha.
I remember one gig...here in Falun (where I live). It was packed...I mean PACKED...and everyone in the crownd was shitfaced. But the feeling in there was awesome...PAAAAAARTYYY...hehe.
So we started the gig...WOOT...everyone went ballistic...people where falling all over...beer and drinks were flying through the air...they danced like maniacs...into the band ofcourse...that means us...GEES. I had to stop playing in the middle of a song (I did lead song and rythm guitar) cause people were falling all over me...the dood who did the backing vocals busted his lip when some drunk fell into his mic stand....man it was rock´n roll :)

Afterwards we needed a shower...badly...we were...well, sticky from all the alcohol flying around...and our gear (guitars, drums, PA) were...not in a good shape...man, you could get drunk by licking the stuff.

Yeah...it was fun playing a rock star every now and then :)

I have put in some links to click if you wanna hear me play and sing. The songs are written by me and I play guitars and handles the vocal abuse ;)

Following doodz are playing -

Drums and backing vocals: Fredrik Halvarsson
Bass and some rythm guitars: Andreas "Nyzze" Nyström
Lead vocals, lead guitar, rythm guitar: Doobeedoo...yours truly :)

Have fun all of you.

Until the next time...rock on!!!

Monday, 21 May 2007

The noble art of self destruction ;)

Greetings all you wonderful readers...all 2 of you :) I am one (I have to...I write this crap)...the other one is my wife...she already knows that I am wierd...hehe. Hello wife :)

Anyhow...self destruction or better known as self inflicted injuries is something I am a master of...I´ve been hurt in ways that are yet to be invented me finks...hey, maybe I can get a patent for some of them?? Worth a shot don´t you think??

Here´s a list of some damage my delicious body have sustained through the years...

Age 3: Crashed into some stones with a small bike - Result: Drove my front teeth through my upper lip...still got the scar to prove it :)
Age 4: Drove a electric car in a amusement park - Result: Crashed (no belt buckle...I was too small) and split my chin wide open...scars too.
Age 8: Tried to outrun my 4 year older sister at home - Result: Stumbled and drove my right hand through a window...that my friends was bad...nasty scar, no feeling in some fingers and 20% less movement. Last check up for that...16 years old.
Age 10: Drove a too darn big bike - Result: Crashed head to head with a bigger kid on a bike...split my left eyebrow wide open...scars.
Age 11: Climbed a big ass tree - Result: Slipped and fell down from the top (5 metres), landed on my bike...busted ribs and a finger on my left hand was pointing backwards. Needed surgery to fix that...scars.
Age 15: Bike again - Result: Hit a speedbump at insane speed, lost controle and smashed into a wall. Half my face was torn off and my left eyebrow got beat up again....longer scar.
Age 15: 1 month after the wall hit...bike again...4 of us on the same one - Result: Smashed into a concrete thing...everyone fell off...I landed on my chin...they (the doctors) picked gravel out the bone...chin bone that is...ugly scar.
Age 16: Tried to be gymnastic - Result: Broke my right ringfinger...did´nt do much about that...it healed...but in a slightly crooked way.

Oh man...I am clumsy...but this aint all....broke my right thumb twice boxing, football (soccer) injuries, cut myself with knifes (plenty of small scars here and there), electric saw in my finger...I can go on and on...and now I am a carpenter...dealing with pretty dangerous machines every day ;)

But hey...who said life is boring??

Until the next time...don´t try all that at home...it was performed by a professional:)

Saturday, 19 May 2007

Oak table anyone??


As you might have picked up I am a carpenter. Here´s a oak table I made...wanna buy it :)
It´s pretty heavy...so I don´t think I can carry it that far...atleast not further than say Germany ;)
Working with wood is indeed very funny...getting paid for the work is less funny. Some costumers are so god damn cheap...they actually think that it is cheaper ordering a special made product, a one of a kind, than going to IKEA...WOOT?? Stoopid-ass-jelly-eating-cheap-nose-picking-morons....bah...and when you tell em the cost they try to cut prices...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CARPENTRY!!!!
What´s up with that??
I actually told a lady (I could call her plenty of other stuff less nice) to leave once...she thought I would do about 2 hours of work for her almost at no charge. She was angry when I told her my price....huh...so I told here to seek help elsewhere :)
But this last costumer I had was a chock. He wanted to pay me before I even started working on his stuff...YAY!!! But I told him to relax (I must be stoopid)...it kind of feels better to do the job and get paid for it after you finished it. And man was he happy...he almost hugged me...hehe...charming old man but I am married ;)
Ah well...the battle against cheap costumers will continue I presume...maybe threating with a ride through the planing machine will get em paying...I dunno...I will let you know the result of that later on :)
Until the next time...stop and smell the flowers...if you´re not allergic that is ;)

Friday, 18 May 2007

The cat lady!!!

I hate her!!! Pardon my french but she is sooo darn stoopid that time stops, mountains falls apart and oceans floods Denmark ;)

What about her then...well, I live in a neighbourhood with lots of small children here and there. Many playgrounds are skattered all over....and guess what...cats likes to take dumps in the sandboxes. Bah...most annoying. Cats are not the best kind of animal to keep in a neighbourhood like this...that is if you don´t keep em inside your house ofcourse.

Cat crap is disgusting...crap in general is not fresh but cats who wander around craps all over.

Now...this lady takes her cat for a walk every now and then. She keeps it in a leash. Believe it or not, she just waits for her darn cat to unload a pile of crap in my or my neighbours gardens...WOOT???!!! I almost went into a coma when I first saw it....how the hell can you let your animal crap in someone elses garden??? Moron....not much brain activity there.

I talked to a guy a week ago who actually stormed out and threatend to kill the cat if he saw that stoopid behaviour anywhere near his house again...hehehe...good call...I just might pick him up on that :)

So the cat lady is on my "shit list"...hehe.

Until the next time...eat a lot of carrots...or not.

English blog? But why??

Yes doodz...I am Swedish...but still I will write here in English. "But why?? Is he insane?? Did he fall out of a big-ass tree and hit his head???"..you might think.
Well...it´s all true...but since most of my internet buddies is NOT Swedish this English thing will have to do :)
So don´t declare war against Sweden if some words gets spelled in a wierd way...I am rather good at writing English...but far from Mr. 100 %...even the sun has spots right...or was that me??? Hmm...I need a mirror....YIKES....dreadful....

I just had me a session of BFV...that is Battlefield Vietnam for those who did´nt know...and it was fun. PC games are great...PC games where you get to kill people in particular...lol. Virtual violence is far better than the real thing. I should know, I used to box competitive. Pretty violent I must say...it kind of gets that when you aim to plunge your fists in someones face...luckily a got my head screwed back on, plugged in the brain (malfunctioning ofcourse) and stopped boxing.

But enough about that now...it´s time to sleep.

So goodnight world...be nice to me tomorrow...or I will kick your ass ;)

Thursday, 17 May 2007

A toilet roll mountain!!!

Apparently it is most entertaining bulding mountains of toilet rolls...ask my 4 year old...you should see his focus doing it.
When he can´t reach higher he builds a second one...or kicks the crap out of the first one so he can build it up all over again.

Aaaah...the sweet creative ability of kids...anything is a potentional toy...like toilet rolls :)

Here´s a tip for ya....if you are feeling bored as hell, looking for some entertaiment in your life huh...get some kids. I promise you...you will NEVER be bored again...you don´t have the time for it.
Kids are like whirlwinds...atleast mine. Constant chasing them all over the place...hehehe...but they do make me laugh.

Kids are wonderful...and a handful...but they sure are the best thing in life.

Until the next time...drive safely but please continue to give moron drivers the finger :)

Doobeedoo on you brothers ;)


Well...I probably should say something like - Welcome to my little blogspot...so I guess that´s what I just did.
Anyhow...this blog will eventually contain both pics and some mind twisting thoughts about things that matters...or not matters at all...the important thing is that you (the reader) is having a good time reading this mess.
Just a word on the way - I am thinking, therefore I am confused.
See ya!!!