Greetings all you wonderful readers...all 2 of you :) I am one (I have to...I write this crap)...the other one is my wife...she already knows that I am wierd...hehe. Hello wife :)
Anyhow...self destruction or better known as self inflicted injuries is something I am a master of...I´ve been hurt in ways that are yet to be invented me finks...hey, maybe I can get a patent for some of them?? Worth a shot don´t you think??
Here´s a list of some damage my delicious body have sustained through the years...
Age 3: Crashed into some stones with a small bike - Result: Drove my front teeth through my upper lip...still got the scar to prove it :)
Age 4: Drove a electric car in a amusement park - Result: Crashed (no belt buckle...I was too small) and split my chin wide open...scars too.
Age 8: Tried to outrun my 4 year older sister at home - Result: Stumbled and drove my right hand through a window...that my friends was bad...nasty scar, no feeling in some fingers and 20% less movement. Last check up for that...16 years old.
Age 10: Drove a too darn big bike - Result: Crashed head to head with a bigger kid on a bike...split my left eyebrow wide open...scars.
Age 11: Climbed a big ass tree - Result: Slipped and fell down from the top (5 metres), landed on my bike...busted ribs and a finger on my left hand was pointing backwards. Needed surgery to fix that...scars.
Age 15: Bike again - Result: Hit a speedbump at insane speed, lost controle and smashed into a wall. Half my face was torn off and my left eyebrow got beat up again....longer scar.
Age 15: 1 month after the wall hit...bike again...4 of us on the same one - Result: Smashed into a concrete thing...everyone fell off...I landed on my chin...they (the doctors) picked gravel out the bone...chin bone that is...ugly scar.
Age 16: Tried to be gymnastic - Result: Broke my right ringfinger...did´nt do much about that...it healed...but in a slightly crooked way.
Oh man...I am clumsy...but this aint all....broke my right thumb twice boxing, football (soccer) injuries, cut myself with knifes (plenty of small scars here and there), electric saw in my finger...I can go on and on...and now I am a carpenter...dealing with pretty dangerous machines every day ;)
But hey...who said life is boring??
Until the next time...don´t try all that at home...it was performed by a professional:)
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2 comments:
And he does not understand why he should have a life insurance. I do!
Don't forget your other two readers..Me and Bubble ;P And we at The Enclave have always found your stories a lot of fun to read. Very interesting life there Janne!! Take better care ...Seems your wife has ya taken care of now since not much lately done to damage yourself! LOL Good Work Anki!!
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